Interesting Experiences
by Arty d'Arc
Summary: For Kyon, kissing Haruhi was always an interesting experience. Oneshots and snapshots exploring in reverse a relationship between our favorite deity and her cynic. Will not be continued.
1. The 30th Kiss:  Kiss

"Interesting Experiences"

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Haruhi Suzumiya series nor are these works done for any sort of profit. I am merely dabbling for fun. All rights belong to the original author and various corporations.

**Note: **Set in some unknown time in the future, but NO spoilers exist. I say future only because Kyon and Haruhi haven't really gotten to this point yet.

_Written for the 30kisses LJ challenge (but I am still waiting for confirmation from a mod). Theme 30: 'Kiss'._

* * *

For Kyon, kissing Haruhi was always an interesting experience.

It wasn't always pleasant. Half the time she had to force it on him, either by a direct command ("Kiss me NOW, you idiot!"), or by physically yanking his tie, wrenching his head down to meet hers. In fact, now that he thought about it, saying it was only "half" the time was being more than nice. Haruhi seemed addicted to kissing him, although he never could quite figure out if whether it was because he was good at it or if she just liked knowing she could kiss him any time she pleased

It wasn't always sweet. She seemed to enjoy using it just to mess with him. If she was losing an argument, she'd kiss him until he gave in. If she wanted to distract him, she'd pop one right on him. If she was sick of his sarcasm, she knew the perfect way to get him to shut his mouth. If she was just plain bored, it was time to pucker up. It was like a game of cat-and-mouse—except it was slowly making him feel like a soldier in a minefield, expecting a hit at any moment. She loved keeping him on his toes, he assumed.

It wasn't always gentle. Kyon quickly grew accustomed to odd bruises and red marks popping up all over his body, so frequently that he was often unable to say when exactly he got them. There were simply times when they found themselves alone in the clubroom and before they even had a chance to speak some form of protest she was on top of him, pushing him against the wall, knocking over chairs when he tried to sit on the table to better support her weight. Time moved too quickly, too harshly, on these occasions for him to pinpoint which nips on his neck would become hickeys, to gauge if she bit his ear hard enough to leave teeth marks, to feel what would be invisible and what would leave a scratch.

And it especially wasn't always welcome. Sometimes all he could do was yell at her afterwards. She kissed him without a care in the world who was watching,: the Brigade, their classmates, his family (he hadn't met hers yet). Sometimes they would just be walking down the street and she'd pull him back and stick her tongue in his mouth before he could say a word. It was beyond embarrassing, it was cruel. She knew he hated being put on display like that, having to hear the squeals and the giggles of schoolgirls passing by or feel the stares of Taniguchi and Kunikuda and Koizumi and Miss Asahina – Nagato, thankfully, always kept her eyes to herself, usually refusing to look up from her book. It was very nearly unbearable.

Kyon often wondered why he let it go on. Whether to himself or aloud to Koizumi, he'd go on and on about how it wasn't worth the stress, Haruhi was an evil overlord with too much time on her hands to dote on concubines, and the world be damned if he was going to kill himself just for its safety when it may very well be endangered by something as childish as the cafeteria running out of her favorite dessert anyway. He knew he was being very useless and silly, but it did make him feel better, and it distracted others from seeing the real reasons he let it go on.

After all, no one needed to know that occasionally it was pleasant, those times when he snuck up behind her as they were walking to school and her lips tasted of grapefruit or whatever she had for breakfast. Or when he interrupted her attempts to catch snowflakes on her tongue outside in the courtyard, his jacket closed up over her own. Or when she gently, softly brushed his forehead to wake him when he fell asleep during class.

No one needed to know that occasionally it was sweet. She was actually willing to concede the fight, she was distracting him from a bad exam, she was pleased by some joke he made, she noticed he looked down. They were small, loving treats to boost his morale, and, admittedly, sometimes he went the extra mile in sadness or excellence just to get one.

No one needed to know that occasionally it was so gentle he was amazed it was the same girl. She was merely sitting beside him on the grass, lightly but lovingly tickling him, fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck. She came to him slowly, the kisses were long and warm, and just a few seconds seemed to last a lifetime.

And no one most definitely needed to know that even when he was embarrassed as hell, just the idea of turning a kiss down made his insides burn. That occasionally, his lips felt dry and cold, his mouth and hands empty, and her kiss was like the earth welcoming the sun after a long, hard winter in some ancient myth.

After all, according to Haruhi, life should be full of interesting experiences.

* * *

_I think I lost a line here, but I can't tell if it was supposed to go away on Audley's orders or was just lost. Oh well, it seems to flow regardless._

_As usual, much applause and gratitude goes to my beta, Audley, who is awesome and currently knee-deep in fan fiction from me. She's slowly trying to dreg up the will power to tackle the final chapters of "Teardrops of the River Lethe", so please think really hard and telepath her some good vibes for that._

_Until we meet again._


	2. The 29th Kiss: Sound of Waves

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own the Haruhi Suzumiya series nor is this work done for any sort of profit. I am merely dabbling for fun. All rights belong to the original author and various corporations.

_Note. Contains references to "Lone Island Syndrome" and _The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya

* * *

"Fall On Me"

The plan wasn't really working out the way Kyon had hoped it would. He should have known; any idea inspired by Koizumi, the boy who was still single despite having dozens of admirers within their grade, was worth about as much as any of his amateur philosophical rants. But it had only been a casual comment, and at the time he was feeling a little desperate. Besides, he could use a day at the beach.

_But not this kind of day_, he thought as he looked over at Haruhi, still lying on her towel (which by now must have been more than a little wet considering how close they were to the surf) and wearing the same scowl she'd put on when they got here. He had done something wrong, or at least he guessed that was the case. Maybe he just wasn't good at this sort of thing. Then again, he never pretended to have any particular skills in the romance department, so couldn't she give him a little leeway here?

"Haruhi. . ."

The waves responded when she kept silent, but eventually she muttered a neutral "What?"

Kyon thought for a second, not wanting to say the wrong thing. Unfortunately, he had no real idea about what the right thing was, so he went for something harmless. "It's nice out." _Great. Really great. _

"It's cold." She looked at him then, with a sigh, sat up. "Kyon, I was just thinking."

"About what?"

She didn't answer, just pulled her knees in and wrapped her arms around them. Now, he sighed. "Nevermind. You don't have to say if you don't - "

"Kiss me."

He stopped speaking and his eyes darted around, all too aware that the beach was completely crowded with throngs of families and school kids. However, he leaned in and with only the slightest hesitation complied. At the very least, he hoped it would cheer her up. Koizumi wouldn't be pleased to have a bout of closed space on his hands.

But when they separated, he noticed her eyes were clenched tight and he couldn't quite manage to douse the concern mucking up his stomach as he not so long ago would have been able to. Embarrassing as it was, he shuffled closer and asked, "Haruhi, what's wrong?"

She hesitated, then couldn't help a sly smile. "Are you actually worried? Idiot. I told you I was just thinking."

Kyon sighed and fell back on the sand, closing his eyes so he could lose himself in the sound of the waves. _Of course_, he thought before drifting off. _Making a fool out of myself always cheers her up._

* * *

Kyon was soon asleep and Haruhi smiled. Not too long ago, it might have annoyed her, and of course he was still going to get a sharp reprimand about leaving his Brigade chief and girlfriend bored and alone on a date, but she couldn't say she did actually mind it. Kyon wasn't a romantic by any means (and, she suspected, she wouldn't have liked him if he was). She'd been surprised enough when he sprung this trip on her, and she could count on one hand the number of typical dates he had taken her on, although she had taken him on quite a few. Even then he never really treated them in a particularly special way, choosing instead to remain casual. Except for the first one, she supposed, and she soon found herself smirking remembering how terrible it had been. 

In moments though, a wave came particularly strongly, rushing over her toes and dampening the towel even more, and in its retreat she felt the expression get washed away. Maybe it was a good thing Kyon was sleeping. He'd probably get worried again, and Haruhi wasn't enthusiastic about explaining why she was upset. After all, it was a silly thing, something she shouldn't even be thinking about really. Yet she couldn't help it. The sound of the ocean always made her remember the lone island, and the island always made her remember the mystery.

And it was nearly impossible to think about the mystery and not think about the fall, the crash, his body loose and cold, and so very, very still beneath hers.

Chilled by the wind (and for no other reason, obviously), Haruhi shivered and fell back on her towel, only to shoot back up. _Great._ Not only was the towel moist now but the wind had swept sand all over it. _I might as well lie on the ground now, for all the good it'll do me. _

She glanced at Kyon, now lying on his side towards her. Should she? It wasn't as if he was awake to protest, which was really half the fun in things like this. _But it is kind of chilly _. . .

Only half-decided, Haruhi inched closer carefully and slowly, casually fell back onto the ground, not stopping until they were touching. It was just the smallest contact of skin on swimsuit, skin on skin, but her eyes darted to his sleeping face in case he woke. But he didn't even flinch, didn't seem even remotely aware of the contact, and she relaxed against him.

Realization struck in the pit of her stomach and she squirmed a little. They had been lying in a similar way that day, the only real difference being that she had been on top of him. Although she'd never allow someone to even suggest such a thing, she had been terrified that day. At the time, it was easily the most scared she had been in her life, although he would only a few months later do something to make her long for those few minutes of fear._ He needs to stop falling off of things_, she thought and then smiled, surprising herself. Just a few moments ago, remembering the day had made her cringe.

But, she supposed as her eyes fluttered shut, it was hard to imagine him cold and dead when he was right here, so very warm and his heart steadily beating almost in perfect timing with the waves.

* * *

"Haruhi?" 

Kyon's breath, hot in her ear, was actually what woke her but guessing what he had said, Haruhi replied without opening her eyes, "Yeah?"

"This is a little. . .I mean, from far away, it almost looks like we're. . ."

She could feel his arm around her back, her legs wrapped up in his, and she was fairly certain what a person looking from far away might imagine they were doing if they weren't looking closely enough.

"You know, Kyon," she said, opening her eyes and trying not to notice the sand that was plastered not so attractively to his right cheek as she looked at him. "You're the one with your arm around me."

He blinked, perhaps only just now realizing that she was right, and sure enough he decided to pull his arm back until she stopped him.

"I didn't tell you to take it away! Jeez, Kyon."

He sighed in exasperation, but only because he felt like he had to, and she felt him grip her tighter. "So, Miss Haruhi," he said in that voice that told her he thought she was being pushy. "I assume you're feeling better?"

"Yes, I am."

"And am I still not allowed to know why you were upset in the first place?"

He was already closing his eyes again, not really expecting an answer and finding it easier to ignore the crowds that way, when she spoke.

"Just remembering the island."

He opened his eyes, confused. "Oh, you mean Koizumi's little trip? I thought you had fun."

She hesitated. "You don't remember the fall?"

Now it was Kyon's time to pause, as he thought back. _Oh, right. That_. "Yeah, I remember. That was two years ago, Haruhi. Were you really still thinking about that?"

"You mean you don't?"

_Fair question._ He supposed he did, every once in a while. And sometimes, he did dream about it, usually about would have happened if that last ditch jump hadn't worked out as he planned. Her body, sprawled out on the cliffs, blood pouring out. . .

Not that he was going to tell her that. "Not really. It worked out, after all."

"You almost died!"

"So did you. We're even."

She glared and briefly, he was aware that if the situations were reversed, she'd be kissing him right now, the ultimate Q.E.D in her book. She may even be wanting him to right now._ Unfortunately, my awkwardness quota has been met for the day. Sorry, Haruhi. _He brought her closer instead, hoping that would be enough to satisfy her.

Distracted by this, he didn't see Haruhi eyes flicker with her thoughts. It didn't bother him at all? Did he even think about how close he came to dying?

Of course, now that she thought about it, he had been right. She had been the one to fall first, and if he hadn't gone after her, she certainly would have broken something at the very least. Somehow, she hadn't really thought about it; it still didn't seem nearly as important. Perhaps he had forgotten for the same reason?

Well, either way, he still was not going to get away with it that easily.

"So," she started silkily. "We're even, huh? What about the staircase thing?"

_Crap_.

* * *

_Hmm. Don't know quite how I feel about this one, but after a bunch of rewrites I expect this is the best I'm going to do with the idea. If Audley liked it, I suppose it can't be _too_ bad._

_Speaking of the beta, many thanks to her as always. I couldn't do it without you._

_ Also, props to Aphotic Bandit for making a highly good suggestion on the last line that really should have been apparent to me. Yay, constructive criticism. _

_  
Until we meet again._


	3. The 28th Kiss: Wada Calcium CD3

_**DISCLAIMER: **__Emphatically not mine, and not done for profit. All rights reserved to Tanigawa, Kadokawa, Kyoto Animation, etc._

"Digging Deeper into Foolishness"

"Now, wait. Let me get this straight."

"It's really not a big deal, Kyon!"

Kyon, of course, thought differently.

Anything that could make Haruhi blush that hard was _definitely _something worth continuing.

"When you were little, you watched an anime - "

"Shut up, Kyon!"

" - About some guy who ate soy sauce and turned into a muscleman -"

"Shut up, Kyon!"

" - And then decided that the easier alternative would be Wada Calcium."

"Bastard!"

Haruhi jumped out of his lap and quickly pulled out the excellent ponytail she had been sporting. He couldn't help but find it worth the loss though. She was really, really angry now, but it was a good anger, a pleased anger. She was enjoying the attention and, if he was honest, he was enjoying being the dominant one for a change as well. He wouldn't do this sort of thing in public, but sitting in the TV room of his wonderfully empty house?

Well, how could he _not_?

"What did you do then?" he asked, deliberately digging himself in deeper.

"As your chief and girlfriend, I command you to drop it! I don't even know why I brought it up!"

By now though, he was on a roll. Grinning more easily than he had in a while, he continued, "You ate them, didn't you? So you could be like Kikkoman of all people. You know, Haruhi, most girls your age looked up to Sailor Moon."

Her scowl and furious swipe at the power button of the television answered for her. He supposed it was only coincidental that she also avoided more embarrassing commercials this ways. Having accomplished that, she continued with a scoff.

"Pfft. Useless!"

Of course. How silly of him to think that Haruhi didn't always have some taste for the unusual in her. Feelings like that didn't spontaneously appear one day. Although, considering the person. . .

"Now." Haruhi turned with a devilish smile that he recognized instantly as a universal symbol for revenge - universal for anyone who had ever met her, anyway.

"Your turn, Kyon."

Right. So that was why he did not tease "God". Divine beings had a nasty habit of being quick on the turnaround.

"What do you mean?"

"I told you an embarrassing childhood secret. Justice demands you do the same!"

And what justice was that? He hadn't asked for any reminiscing; just for help on the English test.

_Although after all that mocking_. . . He shook the feeling off.

"I don't have one," he said after too much hesitation to be convincing.

"Liar!"

"How do you know I'm lying?"

"Because if you really didn't have a childhood secret, you would've made something up just to pacify me."

She glared, but the triumphant gleam could be seen poking out from the edges. She had seen through him, as always, But what to do about it? After all, if he made something up, that would be a lie too.

_So if I say I don't have a secret, I'm lying, and if I say I do, I'm still lying. Dammit Haruhi, why do you insist on turning my brain in circles?_

His eyes glanced over to the bookshelf and caught sight of one specific title his sister must have been reading. An idea developed in his mind - but would she buy it? It was silly enough to seem embarrassing (if it were true, and in a very, _very_ distant way he supposed it had elements of truth) and it wasn't as if he had a choice.

Taking care to say it grudgingly, as if he had lost all hope of keeping it from her, he started.

"Well. . ."

She smirked, victory now washed all over her features. "Yes?"

He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to pick up on some of Koizumi's mannerisms. It made him physically ill to do so, but she always did buy his acts.

"I used to think rabbits were vegetable vampires."

Silence. He waited for the laughter, but it didn't come. Curious, he opened his eyes.

The smirk was gone.

"Haruhi?"

"What?" Her voice was stale, hard and harsh on the ears.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Yes, I did." She walked away and to the doorway, picking up her bag. "It's getting late. I'm going home now."

That got him up. He started to walk over but she went into the hallway, impossibly fast as always.

_If she runs_, he realized, _I won't be able to catch her_. But as he stepped into the hallway, he saw the concern wasn't necessary. She was in no rush, had even crouched down to switch her shoes.

"Haruhi?" He crept as close as he would dare, until he was hovering awkwardly near her shoulder. Her body, always a clear indicator of what she was feeling, was stiff and cold, a clear message of "Back off" emanating from it.

Then there was a slight shake and he tried again.

"Look, if I did something. . ."

She shot up suddenly and turned, her face completely passive. "It's nothing. I'll see you tomorrow." Despite this, she remained, almost as if she were waiting for something.

Kyon leaned in and she turned back and ran out the door, his kiss meeting only air.

* * *

He stood in the hallway for a few moments before he retreated to his bedroom, no longer interested in whatever movie they had been watching on the television. Upon entering, he threw himself onto the bed and in seconds Shamisen magically appeared to curl up near his hip.

Did she know he lied? Of course she knew, she always knew. What else could it be? He had completely blown it. Haruhi wasn't an idiot, even if she occasionally acted like one when it came to other people. She hadn't slipped when she told him about the Calcium; she had wanted to tell him and she had wanted that same respect back. She had the strength to look stupid in front of him and even alone, he couldn't do that much - not even at a time when she could really use it and he had promised himself to do whatever would make her happy.

Turning over, he decided to ignore the question of why he couldn't do it until tomorrow. It wouldn't be until then that he could do anything about it anyway.

* * *

Almost like the Esper wanted to remind him of his decision, Koizumi was waiting for him at his door the next morning. Kyon walked out casually as always, but his mind was already looking for the motive. In three years of knowing each other, the two had never walked to school together, so it clearly wasn't a social call. But otherwise how would he know? Haruhi didn't make many closed spaces anymore. Or was it really that bad?

Koizumi smiled and, picking up on Kyon's mood, asked, "Are you disappointed to see me?"

"You have to admit, your unexpected appearances usually bring bad news."

He laughed his usual empty chuckle, causing Kyon to grumble. "That is true," he admitted. "However, don't worry. There hasn't been any signs of closed space formation, as I assured you the last time Miss Suzumiya was upset."

_I knew that. _Aloud, Kyon asked, "The last time?"

There was a hesitation, than that typical smile. "Well, yes. I assume you remember - unless you ask that in reference to my implied statement, in which case yes, I am here about Miss Suzumiya."

"But if it's not closed space, then - "

"Call it a friend's concern."

_A friend wouldn't call her Miss Suzumiya in that sycophantic tone_, he thought. But then, Itsuki would. It was a wonder he didn't call her "Your Highness".

But wait! How did he know what happened if Kyon hadn't told him and there was no supernatural residual damage? Had Haruhi been talking about it? With him, out of their very predominantly female group, out of all people?

"She seemed upset about what you did," Koizumi continued.

"It seems to me like it's none of your business."

He smiled again. "Ah, so you're aware."

"If by aware you mean I don't need you hanging on my back, yeah, I am."

It wasn't for a few steps until Kyon realized that Koizumi had hung back. He whipped his head around, facing the Esper. He was analyzing now, his finger tracing the bridge of his nose as he sometimes did when he thought. Sick of it, Kyon took a step towards him

"Well?" he asked.

"I'm merely trying to understand."

"Understand what?"

There was a pause, as if Koizumi wasn't quite certain whether to press the issue. Eventually however, he answered with an oddly sober face:

"What you're afraid of."

Silence. Kyon turned away.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

And with that statement he continued onward, not bothering to check whether Koizumi was following.

* * *

_What you're afraid of_.

After a day of Haruhi's lovely "I'm ignoring you" behavior, those words annoyingly floated back to him during last period. What he was afraid of? He didn't remember giving Koizumi permission to psychoanalyze him, and he especially hadn't given his memory permission to dredge up the Esper's last words.

_Well, not the last_. There had been some suggestion when Koizumi caught up to him about taking Haruhi on a beach trip if he couldn't do what she really wanted, but that was ridiculous; like something so simple and normal as that would make her forget about what he had done.

But as long as the question had been raised, what was he afraid of, exactly? It's not like the past could hurt him now, and it wasn't really that big of a deal. Yet somehow, he couldn't bring himself to bring it up. Why?

He looked over his shoulder, not even bothering to make it look casual. He knew she would be looking out the window, avoiding any chance of eye contact at all costs, and he was right. She always did that when they fought, even before they were a couple, as if somewhere out there lay the answer to her frustration. Her hair was down today, her typical yellow ribbons a sharp contrast against the dark color, and he could tell by her slight twitch that she knew he was watching her.

If he'd been honest, Haruhi would've understood--probably would've understood better than anyone. Had he just been too weak to face it?

What did he have to fear?

He sighed. He was going to drive himself insane with all this worrying.

"In a mad world, only the mad are sane".

_Great. Advice from a dead film director (with some creepy movies at that). That's exactly what I need_.

The bell rang and Haruhi burst up from her seat, careful for her eyes not to hit him even once as she left. Did he let her go, or did he follow? He knew what he should do, but it wasn't like there was a closed space to fear if he didn't do it. But, then again. . .

Closed space or not, she was still upset. He had to say something. Whether it was truth or not, he supposed he'd only figure out when he came to it.

* * *

Speedy as ever, Haruhi was already opening the door to the old building when Kyon caught up to her, snaking a grip around her wrist and pulling her back.

"What are you doing?"

"We need to talk." He turned and started walking to the back of the building, yanking her along behind him. He expected her to say something - or toss him aside with that remarkable strength of hers, whichever seemed easier - but she allowed herself to be dragged around and to a bench, which she plopped herself down on the minute he let go.

Crossing her arms, she glared at him. "Well?"

Oh, that was right. This was the part where he actually had to carry out the implied promise of the big dramatic "We need to talk" ploy. First up though was the burning strain at the back of his throat. Gasping, he said, "Give me a minute to catch my breath."

"What? Did you run all the way here just to get me?"

"Yes," he said abruptly, not in the mood for a clever remark or passive avoidance. It had a good effect on her though, as she quieted instantly from the blunt confirmation. After a few moments, she opened her mouth again and he mentally sighed.

But it wasn't what he expected. "Do you need to sit down?"

He smiled, just for a second, taking advantage of the angle that would block it from her sight. She couldn't be all that angry then.

"No, I'm fine." He straightened up, and if there was any concern on her face it was quickly replaced with a scoff.

"Maybe if you exercised more you wouldn't be near death just running here."

"Like I don't exercise enough keeping track of you." A glare was all it took for him to realize his error. She was still a _little _angry. "Sorry. I didn't bring you here for that."

"And what did you bring me here for?"

_Here it comes_. He sat down next to her, eager for any small moment he could steal to think over what he was about to say. "Well, I guess it's about yesterday."

"You guess or it is?"

"It is."

Haruhi took that in first, than turned with her whole body towards him, pulling one leg up to rest on the bench. "What changed your mind?"

"I'm not entirely sure I have yet."

"Then why - "

"Haruhi, just hear me out first, okay? Then you can say whatever you want."

She crossed her arms again, not pleased but willing to wait.

It was his turn.

Focusing his eyes on the sky, he said as quickly as he could:

"I wasn't trying to make fun of you last night."

No response, and Kyon mentally cringed. He really was going to have to spell it out, wasn't he?

"I guess," he continued, "I just. . .panicked. I didn't think it would sound the way it did."

Another pause and he prepared to abort just as she shot his words back at him:

"Panicked?"

". . .A little, yeah."

"Why? It's just me."

_Precisely because it's "just you", you idiot.  
_  
She hmmphed, but there wasn't an insult. Just a question:

"And are you panicking now?"

_Like you wouldn't believe. _

Not that he could tell her that. He probably looked calm; he could get away with this. His mind was already formulating the casual lie: 'Not really, no. I just felt nervous last night for some reason. It's not a big deal.'

Then the bench shook and Kyon caught her leg swinging off and down out of his peripheral vision, her body soon pressing into his side.

"A little."

_Betrayed by myself. Dammit._

She dug deeper: "Is it something bad?"

"Not really."

"Is it embarrassing?"

"Not really."

"Then what's the big deal?"

In all this time, he hadn't looked at her once; had avoided it at all costs, even. And it was in that moment of realization that it struck him. Or rather, it was in that moment that he allowed himself to see the blow. He'd probably always known.

He had just been too afraid to admit it.

The truth was, he didn't know how she'd react. It was such a small little thing, but one that just didn't fit in so perfectly with the image she had of him - and one that fit a little too well with an image she would have loved not too long ago.

How would she see him, knowing that any number of factors could have made him into someone different? Into someone more. . .

_Well, like her._

"When I was a kid," he started, "my dad used to read to me every night."

Then again, was Haruhi really that same girl?

"I don't remember what most of them were, but the first and my favorite was _The Neverending Story_."

"Is that by the guy who wrote _Momo_?"

"Yeah."

Was she the girl who chased after the abnormal with all her considerable might, thinking any life without that was meaningless?

"Anyway, that's really what made me want to hear all the rest of them - "

Or the girl who considered normalcy to be a cancerous tumor growing on her soul?

"- and what made me want to live a more exciting life."

The girl who'd take John Smith any day, anytime?

Over anyone?

* * *

He paused but Haruhi didn't react, merely urged him with her eyes to continue.

"Once the fantasy was done, I moved on to science fiction on my own. Aliens, time travelers, Espers, all that stuff. I guess you could even say I got a little obsessed. I wanted that kind of life, that adventure and that sense of importance."

_Basically, everything that you did and made _went unsaid.

"When I got towards the end of middle school though, I decided that thinking like that was stupid, so I stopped."

_And then I got caught up in this mess, so it hardly mattered at all_. Also unsaid. He didn't see the need to mention the reasons either; she had got what she wanted, and he had never been entirely sure of what they specifically were himself.

Haruhi still didn't respond though, so Kyon did say, "That's what I didn't want to tell you."

His hands went into his pockets awkwardly, hoping she would get the hint.

Finally, she smiled.

"Kyon. . ."

Her eyes shone, that brilliant amber twinkling with. . .amusement?

"I already knew that, idiot!"

Laughing, she jumped out of her seat and rushed ahead.

_Oh._

* * *

_Oh wow, this took a while. Actually, this was written about. . .four months ago. I just never really liked it and while almost by magic (and my beta's encouragement) I no longer hate it, I'm still just. . . Yeah. I don't know. I just want to get this theme over with and done, and I am out of time!_

_Anyway, lots of praise and good vibes to Flower of Paper, for being a lovely beta who often has to deal with my infuriating ways. For her to have not sent me an e-Howler in rage by now she must have secret saintliness. She also deserves major props for the Japanese references, both the Soy Sauce Warrior and Akira Kurosawa's quote._

_The next theme will probably be up soon, as I already have the draft of that. And, in case anyone who is keeping tabs on my new multi-chaptered fic "Crossing the Stars" is reading, I swear the second chapter of that will be up by the end of the February at the very, VERY latest. I was having a few issues, but I think I've settled those now. I'm trying to shoot for mid-February, although preferably it'll be even earlier than that._

_Until we meet again._


	4. The 27th Kiss: Overflow

She doesn't comprehend at first when her mother tells her.

It's the first for her strangely, remarkably. She's nearly seventeen yet it's the first, so while she understands the concept she does not comprehend. How? Why?

It's not an easy first either. Another person, and perhaps it wouldn't be so hard. Perhaps she'd shrug it off, play the part of the typical apathetic teenager. Perhaps (more likely) she would be upset for a day, dream dark dreams in classic Poe style. Ultimately though it would happen, it would pass, and that would be all.

But it's not another person, it's _her_, and suddenly she thinks back to when she is a child and the world seemed like a drearier place. She thought she was a drop in the bucket then, and she felt it everywhere she went. She was just one small person in one large sea that was quickly flowing over the edges of its outgrown bucket and everywhere she went she felt like she was drowning in it. _She_ helped her then. _She_ showed her with grace and strength and a beautiful force of will how one little drop could cause a hell of a lot of damage.

And now Haruhi feels like she is drowning again and the same person who helped is the cause.

* * *

"Offering of a Kiss"

"So, where are we going again?"

"The pharmacy, duh. Have some common sense, Kyon!" But despite the angry words, Haruhi glared without glaring, the intensity dulled for a reason he had yet to discover. The closest she came to really expressing her anger was a slight scoff before she turned back to the crossing signal.

_Common sense, huh? Of course_, Kyon thought as he shot her an annoyed glance. Because I'm the one lacking that here. He knew perfectly well what the immediate destination was, having explained to her where the nearest pharmacy in this area was himself. He just didn't know where she meant to take him afterward.

But as he took in her slight frown and her distracted eyes, the irritation quickly disappeared. What exactly was wrong? She'd been acting this way for at least a week, though it was never so bad as it was today. He had even forced himself to ask Itsuki, but for once the Esper had no idea what to tell him. Whatever she was upset about, she wasn't making any closed spaces to deal with it.

Now, whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, he wasn't quite sure. Itsuki seemed to think it showed great development of character and that despite some concerns over the rough beginning, this relationship between her and Kyon was ultimately turning out to be the blessing the Organization had hoped it would be. Kyon of course had quickly tuned him out when the rambling got to be more than he could handle - something about Jung and his 'collective unconscious' - but he did know that if Haruhi was upset and she wasn't making any shinjin to counteract that, she was going to deal with it a completely different way.

He could only hope that whatever she did, it wouldn't hurt.

Almost as if to mock the thought, she suddenly pulled on his hand, wrenching him back to reality as he lost balance and nearly fell on top of her.

"Haruhi - "

"There it is." She was looking up at a small family owned shop but rather than go in, she merely kept her tight grip. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, he returned the squeeze and stepped forward to speak into her ear.

"Do you want me to go in?"

"No!" she yelled quickly, forcing Kyon to jump a step back. "I'll go; you stay here." She let go abruptly and rushed in, somehow not tripping on her near floor-length skirt. That was another hint there was something wrong. She was dressed nicer than he had ever seen her, blasting his expectations of her beauty to smithereens with the form fitting silken blouse, the pastel layered dress that seemed to spiral in around her like the petals of a rose, the dainty and delicate golden bracelet just barely hanging off her wrist and perfectly accentuating the pure white of her forearms. Not that Haruhi was ever badly dressed; she had a simple but suitable style that worked for a girl like her. So to see her in something so clearly unsuited to her random bouts of energy, there had to be a catch.

A catch that somehow involved a pharmacy. . . With a sigh, he moved to lean on a nearby bike railing. He could go in and sneak a peek at whatever Haruhi was getting, but it might not help him in figuring out what exactly was bothering her. Something about waiting though bothered him. He couldn't understand why; he had always been a patient sort, willing to let things happen to him rather than seek them out. So what was this restless feeling? Why did part of him want to shake her down and make her tell him what was wrong?

_She's brushing off on me, _he suddenly realized. Now that was infinitely more terrifying than anything he might have to end up doing today.

* * *

A beep and a swish told him the doors had opened, and he looked up to see Haruhi cradling a small paper bag. 

"That was quick," he commented, straightening up.

"Come on, let's go" was the immediate response, and not even waiting for him she turned and walked down the sidewalk. It was a slow amble though, perhaps intentionally so, and he soon caught up to her.

"What did you buy?"

"None of your business."

All things considered, it's some of my business, he thought but didn't say, contenting himself with a sigh. It wasn't quite enough - that insanely impatient urge that had popped up in inside him wanted desperately to say more - but it wasn't strong enough yet to overpower his better instincts. Haruhi wasn't really angry, but anything more from him before she was ready and she'd certainly get there.

He would have to just wait and see.

* * *

When she returns after drowning, he worries about her and she feels sorry for that. 

Part of her wants to tell him. **He can take the water away**, it says. At the very least he would dive in for her and she wouldn't be alone in it anymore.

Part of her mocks her for it. **You can handle it yourself**, it says. How could you be so weak?

She knows _she _would agree and so she keeps her silence. To his credit, he does not unnecessarily bother her, yet somehow this is worse. He trusts her to tell him when she's ready and as if the water wasn't enough, the secrets bubble up in her throat whenever she sees him. She's drowning, inside and out, and she wonders how long she can stand it.

* * *

They walked in uncomfortable silence, with Kyon taking periodic glances at Haruhi to check on her emotional state. Every so often he would catch her staring back, perhaps in surprise from what seemed to be a sudden lack of curiosity, but he'd give her a small smile and she'd turn away again, tossing out an insult she didn't really mean. Mostly though, she kept her eyes forward, looking for the various turns and small passageways they apparently had to take. How she could tell where to go, he'd never know. She didn't seem to have a map and she never asked for advice, not even when she stopped at an intersection and her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, her mind clearly wondering which way was right. Somehow though, perhaps by some wish or whim, her face would suddenly clear and she'd keep on going in that same slow but determined pace, having suddenly remembered where to turn. 

They did this for a good hour, until finally Haruhi came to a stop in front of an intricately wrought pair of gates. It was such a small, subtle movement that he didn't notice until she remarked:

"This is it."

He stalled, turned back to her, then to the gates. Through them he could see cement slabs sticking up from the ground, closely packed together and stretching as far as he could see. It was a sight he recognized instantly, despite the little experience he had with such places.

A graveyard. But why?

He proceeded to ask but Haruhi had already unlatched the gate and rushed ahead, not even bothering to call for a caretaker. He walked in and continued on until he was nearly right behind her before saying, "I don't think we're allowed to just come in here."

"I called the shrine this morning. Don't worry about it." She didn't look as casual as she sounded however, as she looked quickly around. "Now, if I could only find it. . ."

"If you told me, I could help."

She stilled. She didn't speak at first, just stood and apparently considered it, though he couldn't say for sure. While he wanted to move closer, maybe even front of her, her body language told him to wait. Then, just as still, she spoke.

"My grandmother. Tomoko."

* * *

Eventually she can stand it no longer. 

It's Saturday-now-Sunday and because she has not slept she knows it is the day when she will have to go. She has waited long enough. But the surface feels far and she wonders how deep she has sunk in the past week. She doesn't have the strength to rise and she knows she must tell him. One part praises, one part heckles, but she sees no way of reconciling the two.

She merely sees reality, and the reality is that without his hand she cannot find her way.

* * *

She turned around, still cradling the paper bag. She wasn't crying; it wasn't the Haruhi way and he wouldn't have know what to do if she was. But as she shifted the bag to fit securely in her left hand, he stepped forward to take her right and they walked on the small crooked brick pathway, he listening while she talked. 

"Her funeral was last week, but I didn't want to go. My mom couldn't believe it; she'd probably never been that angry with me, but dad just told her to leave me alone. She's my grandmother on my father's side, so he understood. My mother, on the other hand, was one of the people I wanted to avoid. She didn't like my grandmother. Nobody really did, except my dad and me. My grandfather probably too, but he died when I was young so I don't really know."

"Was she hard to live with?"

A pause. "She was smart, smarter than a lot of people around her, and she wasn't really like any of the other girls in the area growing up either. I guess you could say she just didn't really care what people thought of her and she let everyone know that."

Kyon allowed a small smile, though he knew better than to let out the laugh trying to escape his throat. It was quickly becoming very clear why Haruhi cared this much.

"So when it came to the funeral?" he prodded.

"I couldn't go. All those people pretending they liked her when they didn't, I wouldn't be able to stand it. It would be better to wait a week and let them get that sense of obligation out."

She pulled at his hand and they stopped, having come to the site. The long colored boards pronounced various names that she had been given - for a woman no one supposedly liked, the family had clearly given a large donation to the temple. A few drying bouquets laid in front, and someone had even cared enough to bring a small picture, which Kyon looked at as Haruhi released her grip and kneeled down.

Despite the description of her character, which had crafted a vision of an older Haruhi in his head, she looked nothing like the girl kneeling next to him. Judging by the door the woman was standing next to, she was remarkably tall thanks to lanky, dangling limbs. Her face was tightly drawn, giving her mouth a permanent puckered look, like she had just sucked on a lemon rind. It wasn't hard to imagine people not liking her; even her eyes radiated a sour temperament, as if she was just barely withholding a sneer and only because she was too bored to care.

But Haruhi liked her, had probably loved her even though she hadn't said as much. He supposed that would have to be enough, and he settled down to kneel next to her.

"She'd be so upset that I didn't go," she whispered, looking down at her bag.

"Why?"

"She'd probably want me to break it up, tell them to stop pretending and get on home. She'd hate the idea of all those people there just because she was dead. 'You never came when I was alive, now all of a sudden I'm fun to be around? I guess dying is the only way to get respect around here.'

"She'd say something like that."

He didn't comment. Though her point was valid, it would be hypocritical for him to say he agreed. The only relative of his that had died had been an uncle in Tokyo that had a heart attack. He had met the man but once and had only been five then, but he had been told to put on a suit and go and so he did. Even now, he couldn't have said he wouldn't have gone. To him it just seemed like the thing to do, especially considering the difficulty of finding a site in Tokyo. He and his family would have felt compelled to go, if only because of the worth of the plot.

He said the only thing he could: "You're here. She'd like that, right?"

"Yeah." Though she didn't sound confident.

They remained in silence a few moments longer, and then she uncurled the top of the bag and opened it. Her hand dropped in slowly, then rose with a small bottle of vitamins. "It was the only thing I could think to bring," she explained. "She always hated getting things she couldn't use, although now I guess it doesn't really matter."

_But it mattered to you._

Whatever the vitamins were supposed to stand for, only Haruhi knew. Kyon was tempted to ask, but he held back. She'd tell him if she wanted to and besides, some things were meant to be private. He of all people could respect that.

She placed it in the small pocket for business cards and slowly rose. "Well, I guess that's it."

"I kinda feel bad that I didn't have anything to bring."

"She wouldn't have wanted anything from someone she doesn't even know. I probably shouldn't have even brought you, but my mother didn't want me to come all the way here alone."

This time he held back the smile. _Was that really the only reason, Chief?_

Haruhi crossed her arms. "Come on, it's cold."

"But I should do something."

"There's nothing you can give her, Kyon! Let's just go."

He stood up suddenly. He had an idea, but he had to implement it quickly, before the rational side of himself caught up to it. "I can give her granddaughter something for her though, can't I?"

"What do you - " But he had already leaned in, giving her a small peck on the cheek before moving for another, more personal one on the lips, and she let him.

* * *

She has forgotten what this feels like. 

Not the kiss itself - she knows perfectly the curve of his lips, the slight dryness that bothered at first and comforted now. She has forgotten the power of it, the way it makes her feel like she is the only one. It beckons her through the water with that subtle promise, has done so either in deed or in memory so many times, and all of a sudden she is on dry land again.

Part of her wonders whether such a small thing should be allowed to have such power. **Have you forgotten her already?** it asks. **Have you forgotten what _she_ would say?**

But the majority of her does not care, because it does remember what Gran would say. What she did say, when she told the old woman long ago.

"Whatever makes you happy, Haruhi. Far be it for an old hag like me to tell you something like that."

* * *

Haruhi proceeded to kissing him back, her now free hands circling his waist and pulling him tighter, when his embarrassment overwhelmed him. 

"Haruhi, we can't -"

She laughed, though she let him go. "Then don't start things, idiot!" She grinned, and with one last look at the grave, started back down the path. That one gesture, and she had gone from melancholic to typical joyful Haruhi! Was she really that simple?

_Of course she was._

This was Haruhi he was talking about. As small as it was, as ridiculous and cheesy and embarrassing as it was, it put that dazzling smile back on her face, at least for now. It suddenly occurred to him he was going to have to do other things to keep that smile for the next few weeks, perhaps even worse than what he just had to go through.

He also knew that though he'd never say it, it was more than worth it.

* * *

It's not all right. 

She knows that. She laughs and she pushes and she jests, but to be cheerful is not always to be absent of grief.

But as she looks at the sea and is surprised to find a bucket, she realizes it will be all right. Not today, not tomorrow, and perhaps not the next day either. But one day she will wake up and Gran won't be on her mind, and she won't even notice the change. For now though, the flow has been checked.

That would be more than enough.

* * *

_Thanks to Flower of Paper. _

_I'm sorry this note is so slight,_

_But this accursed document editor has been painful,_

_Ever since late last night._

_Until we meet again._


	5. The 26th Kiss: If Only You Could Be Mine

_Note: Takes place two weeks before the events of "Offering of a Kiss"/Overflow._

"When You've Reached Your Limit"

There were rules they followed now. They didn't talk about them to each other, but they had known each other long enough to pick up on things and they all had their tell tales. They were small, seemingly unimportant, but enough to know.

* * *

Yuki still read. In fact, she read more, and that was the tricky part. With a girl who could read entire volumes of work in a day, how do you evaluate how much she reads on average? The signs were there though, to those who knew where to look for them (and Kyon did, which worried Itsuki--maintaining his ignorance of the change in behavior was a firmly established rule for him, and no doubt the girls as well). But she brought more books in, carried more books out, and her eyes never wavered from the pages as they once did--small signs, but enough.

Somehow though, she remained the same. Even as she retreated, she maintained the ground she had covered. Perhaps it was easier for her. She did after all have another vital position to hold in Kyon's life. Sometimes Itsuki even wondered if she wasn't secretly glad. Emotions were as messy as mud. Take a child, tell her to play in it, and she'd do so for hours gleefully. However, tell her she'd have to live there forever, and suddenly the fun stopped.

But when she'd turn to the side whenever the two touched hands, he knew better than to simplify her like that.

* * *

Mikuru still cooked, when she visited from college (which she did in fact attend, just not in any time soon). She had every tea imaginable at her disposal and last Christmas had even received a new set of china (a collective gift from the Brigade). She had hugged it to her chest, tears in her eyes, thanking them as if she'd been given anything before in her life. On them she placed cakes, cookies, puddings, dumplings, anything she was able to learn--but only if she could perfect them. There'd be visits without anything at all and she'd just promise that as soon as she got whatever it was she was focusing on then right, she'd bring a treat. But even when perfected, they were carefully evaluated. She'd turn them over every which way, squeezed every inch of them, even smelled them nonstop in her search for the roundest cookie, the softest bread, the most aromatic cake. That piece would go to Kyon. Without fail, no matter in what order she served everyone, it always would go to him.

The difference that made that piece special seemed slight; sometimes Itsuki thought there wasn't one at all, merely a perceived one simply because she needed there to be one. He thought it was a natural response though; replaced as Kyon's perfect woman, she had settled for providing any bit of perfection she could.

Really, Itsuki was proud of her. She never once cried, not even as the person who first discovered them.

* * *

As for himself, Itsuki still played. It was all he knew how to do. He was never anything to either of them but a playmate. He spoke in riddles to be solved, presented topics to be considered, chose games to be enjoyed - that all was for Kyon, of course. For Haruhi, he merely embodied the spirit of a player: listen to the coach, follow through on the plays, step aside and don't be a hero because everyone deserves a turn.

Everyone but him, it seemed, as he watched the person he loved kiss another.

"Hi, Kyon."

Then, suddenly, he saw it.

"I'm not taking over cleaning duty for you."

It was perfect, just waiting for him.

"Lazy ass! That was a grade A kiss!"

He wasn't allowed; it had been a rule from the beginning.

"Don't kiss until you know you've won if you're going to complain."

But hasn't he already broken it? There were times when being a principle more than a person had helped, had made him something more than Kyon could be.

"That wasn't for victory, that was a gift! Where's your sense of gratitude?"

He wasn't a friend, not even an ear really; just stability, just integrity, a virtue to affirm her thoughts and feelings.

"That's funny, coming from you."

Perhaps he was more than playmate then--not much, but enough. The queen could never be his, no matter what he tried, but, like Yuki, he had his role.

"How could you possibly say that to me? Do you really think that?"

It was a small victory, one Kyon wouldn't even notice, probably; but it was all he was allowed.

He would have to take it.

* * *

"You can't guilt me into it either."

"Damn you, Kyon! I'm sick of cleaning!"

Mikuru stopped passing out tea, just stared. She didn't know chess; he tried to explain it to her once but she just didn't care for it. She had a knack for strategy though, and she knew it when she saw it.

"So am I, after doing it all last week!"

"That's different; you're so lazy you need a good kick into gear!"

Nagato turned. She didn't speak, didn't even move. She knew chess; could see every possible strategy the minute a piece was moved.

"And what do you call yourself right now?"

"Focused on more important things than a little dust!"

"Checkmate."

The arguing stopped, as they turned to Itsuki. They didn't say anything, but the expressions were clear. They had forgotten that the Brigade was even there. It wasn't new; it happened whenever they argued, even before the two were a couple.

It never became easier to accept though.

Kyon looked at the board. He wasn't the best at chess; was never the best, in any of the games they had played over the years. He knew enough though.

"Knight's jump?" he asked, the astonishment barely contained.

Itsuki merely nodded.

They all had their tell tales. He supposed winning would have to be his.

* * *

_Just a little piece about the rest of the Brigade to exit out of the arc. I don't actually have a claim anymore at 30_kisses, since I missed my deadline, but I really want to finish out this series (someday). So, here we go, short but hopefully sweet. It's hard getting back into writing after such a long slump and my beta is currently very busy, so I hope you'll all bear with me and any mistakes you find. _

_Until we meet again._

_

* * *

__The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya_ belongs to Nagaru Tanigawa, Kadokawa, and Kyoto Animation. This fic is done for fun and not profit.


	6. The 25th Kiss: Fence

"MASH"

* * *

Kyon's ideal home was decidedly a house. There was a front door, clean and white, and maybe a sliding back one. There were windows (normally sized, normally placed) and a porch he knew he'd never keep clean and spider web free but he wanted regardless. There was a yard big enough for a dog, most importantly—the lack of one in his current one had always been a secret peeve, though he had long since grown past being upset with his mother for saying "Santa" was allergic to all things of the canine persuasion—and a white picket fence, as embarrassingly sentimental as it was, surrounding it.

For whatever reason, this desire had its roots long before he gave up the extraordinary. Sure, when he was younger he wanted an exciting life. At that time, he actually wanted to join up with aliens, time travelers, and espers, and would have depressed by the strange absence of the slider from his current situation. However, though he tried as hard as he could not to think of it, he was also distinctly aware that at the end of the day, even a member of a secret organization had to have someplace to sleep and rest up for tomorrow's no doubt numerous heroic feats. Even a superhero had a love interest, someone who'd keep the hall light on for him until morning came and went. Even the most extraordinary of species, caught up in the most extraordinary of events, cherished the ordinary events of a lazy Sunday (or its planet's equivalent) afternnon.

Of course, if he told any of this to Haruhi, he'd get the same reaction she was having now, as she looked down at the American game she had only seconds ago desperately wanted to play (read: forced him to play, even though it was a game only slightly lower on the embarrassment scale playing tea party with his sister in full costume) like it had insulted her honor.

"I am not living in a house!"

Oh, really? "And where do you live now?"

She looked up, eyes still angry but also vaguely disgusted. "I can't be held responsible for the boring choices my parents made!"

Kyon couldn't decide whether to groan or smile. As normal as Haruhi got, she was always going to be prone to these little fits, he guessed. Though, maybe it was just jealousy, considering he'd gotten a mansion.

"Look, I'll trade you. No one will know." _Never mind that no one knows or cares anyway._

"The Fates will know, idiot!"

"I think the Fates have better things to do than worry about the results of a game based on drawing a spiral."

"Well, it's the principle of the thing."

Now he understood. He decided on the smile (well, more a smirk than anything) as he said, "Meaning you lost to me."

"I didn't say that!" But the response was just speedy and blustered enough to assure him that it was.

He stretched out his arms, still smirking. "Well, trust me, you can keep the mansion. Too much work for me."

"What, because it's big?"

He nodded, and she stared at him in horror.

"But it's only big to fit all the fun stuff!"

"And what's that?"

"Well, a bowling alley, a game room, an observatory, a solarium—"

"—A solarium—"

"—For the plants, duh, and not to mention a laboratory and an atrium—"

"—Haruhi, just how do you expect to pay for all this? Do you even know what sort of job you want?"

"My grandmother says that if you don't look high then you'll miss the ladder put to get you there!"

He wasn't entirely how true the metaphor was (or even if it made sense) but by now she was blazing with so much passion he knew there was no point.

"But don't worry, there'll be a yard for you to wash a dog or car whatever it was."

Wait, what? He was startled enough to lean forward and ask the thought aloud, eliciting a light smack on the arm.

"You asked for it on Tanabata, idiot. How am I supposed to keep track of when the wishes will be granted if I don't remember them?"

"Well, fine, but why is my yard going to be in your—"

While he missed the reaction on her face when she leaned in and kissed him, forcing him to shut his eyes and avoid the stares of his classmates, he figured it was about that part that Haruhi realized her slip.

* * *

**_Audley_**_ betaed this forever ago for me on a whim but she always thought it wasn't quite there. I then realized what she meant. It was either a cute little moment only a handul of words long, or it was an interesting meta on their relationship much longer than what I trimmed off. One day maybe I'll get at that bit, but for now, let's stick with the cute, huh? I know I only seem to add to this thing when I feel like it, and I apologize, but hey. Today I feel like it! The Disappearance promo is out and awesome, I'm almost done with finals, it's snowing, and I feel like putting this up. That's a blessing, right? :D_

_Oh, the game is MASH, by the way, for those not in the know. Take a look around the interweb; it should tell you something._

_Until we meet again._


End file.
